


So Humanly to Gossip With the Devil

by Cephalopolis



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Cosima x delphine, F/F, Faustian Bargain, Romance, Science, newclone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephalopolis/pseuds/Cephalopolis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima is sick and has decided a deal with the devil is worth the chance at saving her life. She and Delphine set out to fix her and to learn more about each other.</p><p>warning: the new clone is mentioned and will be developed on in this story! It takes place after the end of the first season!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of these characters, though i wish i did, in a biblical sense. Also quick warning, the new clone is mentioned and will be developed on in this story! It takes place after the end of the first season!
> 
> "So, these fine forces, in conjunction,  
> Propel the high poetic function,  
> As in a love-adventure they might play!  
> You meet by accident; you feel, you stay,  
> And by degrees your heart is tangled;  
> Bliss grows apace, and then its course is jangled;"
> 
> -Faust  
> Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"We need to work with them"

That was what Delphine had said. "work with them." Cosima sighed, letting out a little cough. Yeah she thought to herself idly, we could work with them, use their labs, their resources... but where does that leave me? She hated the idea of being owned. Even when she heard Delphine say things like 'you're mine' she cringed. **  
**

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to belong to her, she just didn’t like being owned. Even less by an institute like Dyad. The timer went off and she looked down at her samples. They had been incubating for at least 10 minutes with the antibodies; she flicked them and set the timer again.

An hour later she sat in front of a microscope, cells lighting up in different colors, different tags, all of them expected. "Dammit" she mumbled as she took pictures of each chamber slide and moved on. Scott had run PCR for her and the results confirmed what Delphine said, there was a distinct genetic tag for each of them. Cosima looked again at the cells on the screen in front of her...

This would kill her.

Delphine had been right, she needed more resources.

 

* * *

 

Delphine had spent most of her afternoon preparing. She knew Cosima would be out in lab for the day so she could prepare at her leisure. The food was cooked, dessert was prepared. Wine was chilling on some ice and her favorite book was laid out. She wanted to surprise Cosima with something beautiful and honest. Something that came from her to help Cos understand just how much she was loved.

A few months ago she could not have imagined Cosima, She could have imagined a sequence, she could have imagined tables, graphs, medical histories. She could not have imagined a smile, a laugh, the way her smile reaches her eyes. She needed to show Cosima that she was dedicated to her, and only her.

After Cosima had left she had thought long and hard about what to do. She'd wanted to follow her, but leaving the DYAD meant dropping all of her resources and losing any ability to stay where she was.

"I must continue to work for them, to monitor you." She told Cosima gravely, a day or two after they had arrived to Felix' apartment. "It is the only way for me to continue to work here, and stay in this country with you. They have resources Cosima, and we take advantage of that."

"Take advantage of the fact that they own me? That they patented my genes? Resources are one thing, but how can I work with them now? How can you after all of this? How am I supposed to trust you?"

Delphine had tried to reason with her and calm her down. They finally agreed to a compromise. Delphine would continue to work with them, giving minimal information if she gave Cosima access to her data. Cosima would continue to work in school and get her degree "and you you can move in with me." She told Delphine.

"I dont want you in that apartment that they got for you, being constantly monitored. It’s probably bugged or something. I wanna trust you and to do that I want you close."

Delphine did not tell her how happy she was to hear this, instead she nodded seriously and said "I'm sorry" once more.

That had been two months ago. Cosima's health was confusing to say the least. the coughing fits were becoming more common, and after finding Jennifer's videos... Delphine shook her head. If Cosima is going to become that ill then she will do what she can to help her. Even if that means leaving DYAD.

 

* * *

 

Delphine hears the door open as she sees Cosima stumble in coughing. She runs over and helps her with her things, bringing tissues along and staying with her until the coughing subsides. "Ma chère," Delphine says softly as she holds Cosima to her. She is trembling after the coughing fit. Delphine slowly rocks back and forth as they hug. The warmth is a welcome repose for Cosima as she settles back down. She sits up, trying to stay as calm as she can "I will... go clean up in the bathr-" She finally looks around the room. The wine glasses, the candles, the food simmering on the stove. Truffles. Chocolate.

She stops in her tracks to take it all in, forgetting the taste of blood in her mouth as she inhales all the sweet scents. She feels Delphines arms wrap around her waist as she pulls her close to kiss her neck. "For you ma chère, tonight we shall forget that everything else exists. Tonight it is just us, yes?"

Cosima exhales deeply, allowing herself to lean against Delphine's full form, feeling her warmth. "Yeah, that... sounds good" she breathes. "Well! I should, uh, go clean up! Then we can have a good dinner, ok?"

Once in the safety of the bathroom Cosima lets go, feeling all her emotions come crashing down. The fear of her illness, the nervousness coming home everyday, the frustration of not having a breakthrough and finally the relief of seeing Delphine. Seeing her at home, seeing everything she made, smelling, feeling. She had not realized how much she needed to be held. She begins to compose herself and returns outside after washing her face.

As she sits down she realizes that Delphine is not wearing her usual shirt and jeans combination. "You look really good," she squeaks out as she takes in Delphine's full form. A short black dress with a halter top reveals the perfect lines of her back, fitting snugly to her form. Cosima grabs the glass of wine from the table and gulps it. She and Delphine have not been very intimate since they returned, she was tired and stressed more often and, though she hated to admit it, she wasn’t sure where she was on trusting Delphine.

They don’t speak much during dinner. Delphine trying to find the right words and Cosima forgetting her own every time she looks over. After dinner Delphine pulls her over to the bed and sits her down. "I know I said nothing else exists, but I need to tell you something Cos." Cosima looks up at Delphine "I have something to tell you too. Delphine nods saying, "Ok, well, shall we take turns? Cosima, I am going to quit working for DYAD. After everything they've done, to you, to your... sisters, to Jennifer! I cannot work for them any longer. You asked me to leave before and I could not, because I did not want to destroy any bridges that could help us. But you were right, there is nothing there for me. My place is with you."

Cosima looks at her stunned. Suddenly she smiles and begins to laugh, Delphine looks at her confused. "I do not understand, what is funny? Cosima I am saying to you... I love you..." Cosima looks at Delphine and, without breaking eye contact, leans in, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Delphine I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at this whole situation. I was gonna to tell you the complete opposite. I want to work for the DYAD. We need resources to figure this out. We need to use them...", she sighs ,"You were right, not me. Research is limited most by funding, and I need to figure this out. Come with me? Help me? I’m sick, you’re an immunologist. Please?"

Cosima’s eyes reveal the depth of her fear, She looks so vulnerable in that one moment, that all Delphine wants to do is pick her up in her arms and hold her close. Cosima hesitantly says, "Delphine, I... I love you too."

Delphine does not know how she arrived on top of Cosima. Or how their legs tangled in such a way that she was pinned down, or how it is that the young woman in front of her made her fall so stupidly in love, but she does not care.

She begins to kiss along Cosima's collar bone, tracing lines with her lips, using them to spell out everything she wants to say. Cosima clings to her form, shuddering at her touch. Delphine nibbles, allowing herself to taste her lover's skin, taking in every inch of her. She pulls off the tight shirt Cosima is wearing and looks down at her again. Her head spins as she reaches lower, pressing her thigh betweens the brunette's legs and letting her breath and kisses trail her chest.

"Je t'aime" She whispers against her breasts, claiming each with a kiss, letting her mouth press and teeth pull, "Je t'aime" her kisses are a brand, she is signing her soul to the Devil and each kiss spells out her name. "Je t'aime" she repeats as she reaches for the smaller woman's wrist, kissing along the line of her arm. Cosima lays there unable to move, shivering as she pushes her body reflexively against Delphine. "Oh god" she growls as Delphines kisses reach lower and lower, tracing her hipbone. Delphine begins to pull off her pants until Cosima says "No wait!" Delphine pulls away, worried, until Cosima blurts out "It’s my turn!" She draws her up and begins to kiss her, letting her hands slide under the hem of Delphine's dress.

She can feel the bare muscles on Delphines legs tighten and relax as she grinds against her, pressing harder and harder into her thigh. She can feel a wet spot growing against her leg as she laughs into the crook of Delphine's neck. She moves suddenly, catching Delphine off guard as she rolls her over and straddles her. She finishes pulling off the dress and admires Delphine’s beautiful form. Taking all of her in. This woman is under her spell. All of their history, all of the sadness and anger from before, she allows herself to reclaim every inch of her. She revels in every touch and every kiss, slowly making her way up Delphine’s form. Each burning touch and heated kiss erasing their past and providing heated relief. She works thoroughly, finally giving her the sweet release she desires and allowing herself to be completely taken by Delphine.

They lay quietly after, Delphine holding Cosima clos on her chest. "Are you sure you wish to work for Dyad? We can try other things..." "I'm sure..." she whispers against Delphine's chest, "As long as I work with you... and.. well, I won’t sign anything I haven’t read. I am not their property." she says gravely. Delphine chuckles, "Ma chère, I do not believe you can belong to anyone"

Cosima sighs contentedly "I do with you" she mumbles into Delphine’s skin. ****  
****

The next day is a grim reminder of reality for both of them. Cosima sighs into the pillow “Can we just run away? I just want t-” She begins to cough, a deep heavy, dry cough that keeps her from finishing. Delphine is there within seconds with tissues and some water as she waits for it to subside. “It will be ok…” She whispers to Cosima as she holds her. Once the coughing is over she can feel Cosima trembling and there is a faint smell of blood.

After the fit Cosima pushes Delphine away to go clean up. Delphine is left waiting and wondering what she can do to help. She begins to brew some tea and make breakfast as Cosima walks out of the bathroom. “We need to talk, seriously now. You said you wanted to leave DYAD, I want to work for them. What is going on.” Delphine takes the time to finish pouring the tea before sitting down. “I want to be with you. To help you and care for you. working with the DYAD has kept me from getting close. It is like a barrier between us. I do not want to be your monitor anymore, I want to be your…” she thinks for a moment trying to find the right word. “Your girlfriend.” She says with a definitive nod. ****  
****

Cosima looks at her warmly and gives her a tender smile. It is not one Delphine has seen much of lately and it melts her heart in an instant. “See I have come to the...opposite conclusion. I want to… I want to live…” Delphine can see Cosima looking at her with the same mixture of fear and sadness she expressed when she first mentioned her illness. There was something different though. The fear she had now was more ragged than before.“ But Jennifer… Dyad did not help her…” Delphine cautions.

Cosima looks at her sadly “No they didn’t, but they also did not have all of the information. She didn’t have all of the information. There are more of us now, more data, and if I work there… if we work there than maybe we can come up with something. Something they missed. Maybe I can live, even if they have to think they own me for a while.”

****

After a few minutes Delphine sighs and says “Then I guess I will have to call Dr. Leekie.”

****

* * *

****

 

Cosima knows that Delphine knew Leekie from before. She is not dumb, she realizes that Delphine is attracted to intelligent men...and women. But something about seeing her greet him just irks her. There is too much familiarity there. Too much history for her to be comfortable. She finds herself subconsciously standing closer to Delphine, holding her hand in defiance of the world around them.

 

Delphine finds this adorable. Of course, Delphine is sweating nervously the entire time. The nearest facilities are a few states away and while they offered to pay for an apartment Cosima and Delphine stay in a hotel while they find a place to live. The tour of the facilities goes smoothly. Leekie does not mention the other clones. He only shows them the research and equipment. “This is our newest cell sorter, it uses magnetic tags to selectively differentiate between cell types, and we have every antibody you could want.” Delphine smiles as she sees Cosima drool. She is a scientist to the end, and this is her weakness. Here she could work on whatever she needed to with all of the equipment available. She could see Cosima itching to get her hands on everything. She also caught Leekie looking at her with a strange expression a few times, as if he did not recognize Delphine.

****

Of course he knew her well. Better than most really, she did not usually sleep with her superiors, but he has been so charming and so commanding. his intelligence was so overwhelming. But then of course that had been before Cosima, before she understood what Leekie was doing… and before she had felt something flutter in her chest.

****

Suddenly Leekie stops and tenses, “This is the records room”, he says, the change in his demeanor catching them both off guard. “In this room you will find data on every experiment we have ever run, and of course on yourself and your genetic identicals. We have laptops here that we will issue to you and, well Delphine here already has one.” he adds with a grin gesturing to her with his hand. “ She’s had one for quite a while, maybe we should upgrade yours too, eh?”

****

Delphine does her best to hide her annoyance at his words. It’s not like Cosima doesn’t know that she has been working for DYAD. “Anyway you two can access all of the files on our server, including those on Jennifer Fitzsimmons, which if I am not mistaken you have already begun to access.” Cosima gulps quietly, thinking about her own condition. “Now before you leave may I have a word with Delphine here? Just a few things to go over, we can meet you back at the entrance.” Cosima looks to Delphine who gives her a small nod and squeezes her hand. “Do not worry ma chère” she says, emphasizing the term of endearment “I will be there soon.”

****

Leekie clears his throat as he watches Cosima walk away “I see you two have gotten close” he whispers to Delphine, taking a step closer to her “You know, it’s not long ago you were close to me.” Delphine takes a step back, not saying a word. “I’m glad you have gotten so close to her Delphine, you did exactly what we needed you to do. It may have taken time but now that she is working for us we will be able to take care of her, keep her safe, just like we wanted all along.” He draws the words out as if he knows exactly what effect they were having. He was always so good at teasing her and getting her to react. But now she had someone else to worry about, and all she could do was was focus on Cosima.

****

Thats what she told herself as he stepped closer to her. As he placed both hands on her arms and pulled her close, whispering into her ear “It will be nice to have you so close again, Delphine” he breathed her name out softly, as if daring her to lean in closer. She thought of Cosima, of her coughing fits and of the fact that this man was in part responsible. She could not be more disgusted. As she pulled away Leekie looked at her seriously, as if truly seeing her for the first time “My my, she really has gotten under your skin, hasn’t she?” he chuckled softly. “Well then this will make our arrangement all the more interesting.”

 ******  
  
**


	2. Begining with fire and Ending with Brimstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting their work at the Dyad will be tough. Not only is Cosima learning everything all too quickly but too much information can be bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas, i own absolutely none of these characters, though i would do things to them if i did. I hope you enjoy the chapter, sorry its so short and there are like, mini updates, but i do not have a computer anymore and typing on a tablet is hard. 
> 
> Let me know what you like, dont like, and love and i will love you well in return!

>  
> 
>   
>      Then give me back that time of pleasures,  
>  While yet in joyous growth I sang,—  
> When, like a fount, the crowding measures  
>  Uninterrupted gushed and sprang!  
>  Then bright mist veiled the world before me,  
>  In opening buds a marvel woke,  
>  As I the thousand blossoms broke,  
>  Which every valley richly bore me!  
>  I nothing had, and yet enough for youth—  
> Joy in Illusion, ardent thirst for Truth.  
>  Give, unrestrained, the old emotion,  
>  The bliss that touched the verge of pain,  
>  The strength of Hate, Love's deep devotion,—  
> O, give me back my youth again!
> 
>  
> 
> -Faust  
> Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
> 
>  

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Not even the waitress’ light jokes could soften the mood at dinner. Delphine had made them a reservation at the hotel restaurant. “I looked at the reviews” she said, trying to make conversation “It seems they have very good steak and a nice selection of wines…” Cosima looked at her warily asshe continued; “Look, I know you worked with Leekie before but… what exactly was your relationship cuz today he was looking at you like… well… The way I look at you!” Cosima has to stop for a moment as she begins to cough.

 

Delphine leaned over to Cosima but is waved away as the waitress returns with their drink ordrder and cheerily cuts in “What would you like to order?” Delphine smiles as she says “I’ll have the, uh, number thirteen  s'il vous plaît” The waitress stops for a moment and replies “Of course  Madame”  and winks happily while taking Cosima’s order. Delphine cannot help but notice Cosima glaring as the waitress walks away.

 

Delphine sighed, she knew she would have to explain further her relationship with that man and it seemed like the restaurant she chose was not helping the mood. “I want to begin by saying I used to be very different. When I first graduated I only cared about the fame and publications. I wanted to be the best and was ready to do whatever it took to do that. This entire experiment was just data and pieces of paper until I met you. Until I realized what was being done.”

 

She begins to tell her story. “Well, it started just after graduate school. I had been… looking for a job… for anything really. I had just finished my doctorate and I had an opportunity to work at the institute. To do some very advanced research completely funded!” She pleaded “That is a rare opportunity for someone who has just graduated. Usually all you can do is inherit a post doctorate position. Work for nothing. I had an opportunity to work on something amazing and have my name published in respectable journals. I jumped at the chance.”

 

Cosima seemed almost lost in her words, as if trying to understand what she was saying. Delphine took a moment to compose herself and ensure she was indeed speaking English.

“Leekie…” she continued “ He erm, selected me? I was his favorite. I would go with him to conferences and on trips. Eventually he got closer...more... intimate? Before I knew it he owned me, well until… until you.”

 

“He wants to own me too.” Cosima spat out. “It’s not that I don’t get it, right? Like, he’s super smart, has a lot of money and like, a crap ton of publications! Of course you’d fall for him. I can’t even compete with that. Bu-” “No!” Delphine interrupted, “ Do not compare yourself to that man! He is… so different! You are caring and loving and sweet. You… get lost in your thoughts and emotions and you are so intelligent! He is… a collector.” Cosima sighed and began to cough again. Delphine had been noticing the coughing was becoming more regular. Once again Cosima waved her off and crumpled the napkin when she was done. 

 

She continued “Look, I have to accept his help but I hate the way he looks at you. Like you’re still his. And on top of that you totally talked to him today! I… I’m jealous” she mumbled looking away. Delphine smiled and reached out to cup Cosima’s cheek. “ Ma chère,  you are my love. Aldous, he collects people he finds interesting. When I was with him it was because I thought I was not worth more than that. That I was his toy and that was all I needed to be. Then you… well you kissed me. It was confusing as it was illuminating. It was a blessing in hiding, you made me feel things and I realized how little I felt with Leekie. That is why I have chosen you. We work for him now, but this is our chance. We are in control of the circumstances” she said with more confidence than she felt. 

Cosima tentatively took her hand fixing her eyes firmly on the table.“But this isn’t just about jealousy! Sarah would kill me if she knew what I was doing. I don’t want him to own me! To make me his stupid experiment! I’m more than that!” Her eyes seemed to burn as she continued “I won’t be his toy and…. And I won’t let you be his toy either! We have to-“

 

The waitress arrived with their food and set the plates down before there “here you go ladies,  au revoir !” she said with a look to Delphine, who just smiled as she walked away. “Even the waitress is a fan!” Cosima huffed. Delphine gave her a look and said “Just because you are my girlfriend doesn’t mean that others do not find me attractive! She may look, she just cannot touc-“ Delphine was interrupted by a brusque kiss from Cosima. The short girl had managed to lean over the table and reach her lips without hesitation. They sat there for a moment, foreheads touching until finally Cosima said “Could you, uh, help me back into my seat, if I try to back away alone I’ll fall into my food…” Delphine could not help but laugh as she pushed Cosima back into her seat. “Ah  mon petit porc-épic if you are not careful you will hurt someone with those  spikes.”

 

Cosima enjoyed Delphine’s laughter and random outbursts of French more than she liked to admit. They ate dinner in comfortable silence while exchanging glances whenever the oh so charming waitress appeared. After paying for dinner they went for a walk around the city “He cannot own us, you know” Delphine mentioned as they walked “We are joining them on our terms. We need to be careful, of course, but right now our focus needs to be looking at what is happening in your lungs and finding a way to stop it. To save you.” She stopped and pulled Cosmia in closer “We must first save you, even if that means we deal with this devil ourselves. Later we can figure out how we are going to escape.”

 

When they reach their hotel room Cosima blocked the door “You know, I looked it up, I dunno if you wanna sleep with a porcupine, it could be dangerous…” she says with a sly smile. “Oh I do not know, I suppose it is possible” Delphine breathed as she inched closer to Cosima. “Then again I have never been good about safety outside of the lab” She pushed Cosima through the door with a ferocious kiss. As the door closed behind them Cosima couldn’t help but feel slightly more hopeful than she did before.

 

 

* * *

 

****  
  


The next week was spent moving and planning. They found an apartment nearby that allowed them to take the subway in to work. It came with a large bathtub and a lovely potted plant that Cosima affectionately called Felix. It was so domestic and comfy Delphine couldn’t help but smile. The only interruptions to their unplanned vacation came from Cosima’s coughing fits. They usually hit in the mornings before they went out and never lasted too long, but these worried Delphine. Cosima seemed shaken by the coughing as well but was determined to continue as if nothing happened.

“Do we really need this high a thread count?” Cosima asked at they went out to buy their new sheets. Delphine smirked as she whispered “Imagine how it will feel on your naked body when you are under me…” 

Cosima blushed and said no more.

After about a week of setting up and settling down they went into the lab for the first time. Leekie had a desk prepared for Cosima on the other side of the lab, far away from Delphine, so they did the only thing they could, they moved everything from Delphine’s partner’s desk and settled Cosima in. “ I think this will do,”She said absentmindedly while organizing some papers. 

 

“Hey wait.” Cosima said, looking over her shoulder “Are those about me?” “Ah these, yes they are part of your files… some, um, background on you and what you seem interested in.” Delphine sees something flash through Cosima’s eyes but she quickly hides it, preferring to shimmy over to Delphine saying “I wanna see…. hmmm… lets see here… wow, cut at thirteen… flu at 12…. How far back does this go…" she sat for a few minutes reading through the file. 

She looked up at Delphine " A lot of these things.. no one could have known, I never went to... What I mean is... was my father my- my…” She leans back in her chair, closing her eyes. “Delphine, is- is my father my monitor?” Delphine looks at her and shakes her head “I- I do not know mon amour, we do not know who each other is. I only get reports about you… I have never met another monitor…” Delphine looks around at her desk and at Cosima’s. Cosima seems at a loss for words. "How could I have been so... so stupid" she says, tears forming in her eyes. Delphine tries to pull her away, “Let us go. This is enough to get us started today, I will cook us dinner and we can watch that movie you like so much, erm, The one with the ant who likes to invent things?” Cosima lets herself be taken away from the desk, and away from the file she wishes she’d never seen.

Cosima has no idea when was the last time she was this stoned. Possibly when she and Delphine fought. She’d gotten her plane tickets to see Sarah while completely baked. But at least in this space she could think without having her emotions all over her. Think about her dad. About how he was her monitor.  Is that why mom left? Did they even want to adopt me? Did they get paid?  Of course her dad had always had money to spare, but he was a scientist. The company he worked at paid him well. Her mom had been a professor at Berkeley, though she had left a few years before Cosima had gone there.  Have I ever even had a relationship that hasn’t been connected to the Dyad? She thought about her exes, her friends. Her roommates. How many of them had been paid? How much did they know? Why did she want brownies so bad? 

Delphine had not wanted to smoke with her, but she had been nice enough to make brownies and sit and watch A Bug’s Life with her. This was new territory for Delphine, she wanted to console her but at the same time she too had been part of the Dyad.  The Dyad is what brought me to her. What introduced me so that I could love her. Did that happen with her father as well? They had talked for a while. About her father and her mother, about her mother leaving and Cosima trying to make up for it. “I always wanted to be like my mom, you know? Like, she was always to graceful and free. And she was super smart, like, crazy smart. It’s why I considered Berkeley in the first place…” Cosima had confessed this after a particularly good brownie, one of the corner pieces. Delphine could do nothing more than hold her, kiss her, and do her best to keep her safe. 

The next morning Delphine was a whirlwind of action. Cosima wasn’t sure what she was babbling about but it seemed like she had a plan. “Ok we will arrive to the lab, You have to go with Thomas to get that biopsy done so that we can study it, but after that you will be free. I should have different cells to thaw that need to be seeded on the plates we prepared yesterday, but if we plan it correctly I can go get more records out of the records room and get copies. That way we could come home and see what they have on you, I can even try to get to the more restricted files and see who did what. Then we can continue work as usual.” Cosima stared at Delphine and blurted out, “Did you even breathe while you said that?” 

Delphine sighed as she plopped down on the bed.”I was up all night thinking of what we could do… how to make this easier for you mon amour. The last thing I want is for you to be sad.  Mon petit porc-épic already has too many spines, she does not need any more.” Cosima slipped behind Delphine and hugged the taller woman. “This is hard for you” Delphine says as she reaches up to hold Cosima’s hand “I do not know how to make it better. I do not think I can even help really. I met you because of the Dyad. There is no way to really stay away…” Cosima dug her face into the crook of Delphines neck and mumbled “Think this is a good start” 

 

* * *

 

****  
  


That morning was spent planning. Delphine had a good idea of the other's schedules and had been assigned as their Primary Investigator along with Cosima. She made sure they would be busy during the morning. After packing their bags they left, stopping only for coffee. 

Arriving at the lab they quickly set to work. Cosima was sent to one of the other floors to get her biopsy done. While she was gone Delphine gave out everyone’s jobs. Prepare the PCR primers, prepare media for cell culture, find different antibodies for immuno-assays. Once everyone was busy she sat down and quickly typed up an email.  Cosima will like this surprise,  she thought as she hit send. 

She made her way down the hall to the records room. She sat down on the computer and began her search. She knew Cosima’s records were under her tag, 324B21. Delphine had learned that number well, all those months ago. She smiled, thinking how much things had changed. How the love of her life had been her scientific life for so long. 

She pressed through the program easily, she had forgotten how well she knew the system. She found the files relevant to the monitors that Cosima had. Four names, one redacted. She saved everything to a thumb drive, knowing Leekie would know soon enough. 

Cosima was returned from the bronchoscopic biopsy looking tired, the anesthesia had worn off but shewas still a bit dazed. When they drop her off at the desk she flops over to grab Delphine’s coat “They said it wouldn’t wear off for another hour, so I can’t drive for forever.” Delphine pats her head “M on petit porc-épic let me finish printing these papers out and we can go get crème glacée, yes? Would you like ice cream?” Cosima giggles “I like chocolate, or cherry cherry chocolate flavors. Why am I porcupine? God I feel so chill, everything is soft.”

Delphine returned, putting papers in her bag and checking her email one last time. There is something new. She stops, reads it, smiles and says to Cosima “I have a surprise for you mon amour, i think you will like it.” “Can it be chocolate?!?” She gasped with delight. Delphine just chuckled as she said, “It will be better than that, but for now we must get your iced cream.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo thank you for reading!! what do you think so farrr? do you like it? hate it? want to go kill people?   
> I must say i dont know how to write characters high, so that was a new experience~
> 
> I hope to be able to update this once a week with more mini chapters, thanks for your time <3


	3. What ails you now? Is't suffering, or pleasure?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima's Illness is progressing and maybe there is something they can do. or maybe not. But the real question is, what will they be capable of doing? How far can they bear to go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoah guys! its seems you actually like this thing! cool. Once more i must cry as i write that i do not own any characters here, except maybe Lab technician #5 Shes cute. I like her.
> 
> WARNING SEX HAPPENS

  
     "Go, find yourself a more obedient slave!  
What! shall the Poet that which Nature gave,  
The highest right, supreme Humanity,  
Forfeit so wantonly, to swell your treasure?  
Whence o'er the heart his empire free?  
The elements of Life how conquers he?  
Is't not his heart's accord, urged outward far and dim,  
To wind the world in unison with him?"

 

-Faust  
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 

 

Cosima’s voice is rough as she moans against Delphine. The afternoon had progressed as expected: ice cream, a nap, a snack, and rough emotional sex. “Harder…” she moans again as Delphine’s fingers work against her. Delphine is divine. At this moment, Cosima is losing herself, forgetting who she is, what she is, other than clay in Delphine’s hands.

That is exactly what Delphine wants. She lowers her mouth onto Cosima’s neck, kissing and nibbling as she works her way down to her collarbone. Taking a moment to admire Cosima’s anatomy, she smiles against her lover’s skin before working her way down between her legs. She applies pressure with her tongue, sucking and twisting at the same time, letting her mouth wrap around Cosima’s clit and using her tongue to work it gently.

_The doctors had told Cosima that her throat would be a bit ragged for a couple of days. Delphine had treated her like a princess. A drugged princess, maybe, but it had been a lovely afternoon. She had taken Cosima out for ice cream and then taken her home. Home had greeted Cosima with a painful sobering chill. Her throat ached. All of the stress from the past week had crashed upon her. She felt tired and stressed and completely overwhelmed. Delphine practically ran to her side when she had begun to cry. She held the smaller woman and crooned softly. “Mon amour, it will be okay. I am here, you are not alone. Everything will be well…”_

She feels the woman shudder under her. Good, she thought. This is what Delphine wants, to make her forget, to make her lose control. Cosima is lost in her bliss. The tall blonde is working magic and Cosima lets herself be taken away. Nothing matters, nothing exists, only this, only Delphine’s mouth on her, her tongue, her fingers, the pressure of her-

_Cosima fell asleep, completely drained in Delphine’s arms. She didn’t notice when Delphine had gotten up, nor did she notice when Delphine put on that dress she enjoyed so much, nor even when Delphine went to the kitchen to make snacks. It was not until she had felt soft kisses and Delphine’s voice pulling her from her dreams that she awoke. How long was I out? she wondered as she began to eat._

__

This is it, the release Cosima needs so desperately. She shudders as she pulls Delphine’s head against her hard and bucks against her. It’s too good, it’s too much. She pushes Delphine away, panting, smiling. This is something she needs, falling back against the pillow, and breathes. “That was awesome...”

_She saw Delphine. She had seen everything she was doing. Everything she had done. She realized that Delphine had been the first person to be honest with her. She had been outed, but she had stuck by her declaration of love. She loved her and worked with her. Cosima quietly moved the plate off the bed and leaned over to Delphine. They had been so quiet until this point that the words sounded rough breaking through their silence. “Thank you,” she said, reaching over to pull Delphine into a passionate kiss._

__

Delphine smiles, settling against her and embracing her in a hug. Usually Cosima’s the big spoon but this time Delphine is holding her from behind. “I enjoyed doing that to you, I think I am very proud now. I did that to you.”

Cosima snuggles closer. “You should be, that was very nice, and i like the…swirly thing you did.” Cosima stops for a moment to enjoy where she is, the warmth, the comfort she’s feeling.

“You are safe with me, I will do everything i can to help you be safe,” Delphine mutters into her hair before snuggling in for another nap. Cosima lays and thinks about everything. About her parents, her friends at school, and finally about Delphine. This woman, who has become her partner, who knows how to be loving, knows how to be romantic and passionate, who knows how to be in silence. For the first time in a long time she thinks to herself, I am loved. She sighs, whispering, “I love you.” She feels a sleepy kiss at the base of her neck and settles to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Delphine woke before Cosima, as she always did. She smiled at the woman sleeping next to her, her little porc-épic, always friendly, but always armed. Delphine breathed in the sweet smell of the woman sleeping beside her. It was a strange mixture of sweet and salty, twisted sheets and heated kisses. Spices that mixed into her skin making Delphine reel. She thought about work and what they were going to have to do. They needed to study the biopsy they had removed from Cosima, certainly. They would then culture it, obviously. Still, there needed to be more extensive analysis.

If they could get a sample from Sarah…. maybe they could use it to compare her healthy cells to Cosima’s sick ones. It would take a massive effort to figure out what they needed to assay but maybe they could identify differing regions in Cosima and Sarah’s DNA. It would be a huge effort but they could probably use AFLP to look for differences. They would just have to narrow it down.

Delphine sighed. Sarah would never go along with it, not with her temper and how she felt about the Dyad. Maybe they could get Alison’s information now that she was signed with Dyad. And of course there was Rachel...no. Absolutely not. Delphine needed to stay away from that woman. Especially now that Delphine was with Cosima, she would be even more dangerous. Delphine and Rachel had not known each other directly, but through Leekie. At first, it seemed like she was fighting with Rachel for Leekie’s attention. They had been rivals of sorts, but now…Delphine released the breath she had been holding for the past thirty seconds. There are so many Cosima look alikes, I cannot see them all the same way I used to… She wondered what Rachel had been like.

Delphine got out of the bed only to hear Cosima grumble. “My pillow is gone, I want her baaaaack,” she whined before flopping back into her soft dreams. Delphine sat at her computer and began to read through some of the files she had stolen earlier.

> 90.0328 Memorandum 324B21.375
> 
> _______________________________________________________________
> 
> The monitor [redacted] has left the program permanently. Reasons cited were: (1) personal moral restrictions and (2) an unwillingness to continue with the monitoring process. Monitor N. will continue to report to the institute as directed. The psychological consequences of the split will be reported as per SOP 34556.4 Psychological Trauma Report.
> 
> All changes will be reported weekly to [redacted]
> 
> ________________________________________________________________

 

Delphine read over the memo again. This makes no sense, she thought. Why did they let this person walk away from the project, they usually…She shook her head. It didn’t matter. Cosima needed to see this; maybe it could help identify who the monitors were. Delphine paused for a moment and then opened a browser window. Into Google, she types: American Breakfast foods.

 

Cosima woke up an hour later to the smell of bacon. She didn’t often have much of a breakfast, and living with a French woman had only changed her minimal breakfast from toast to croissants. She thought she had dreamed Delphine getting out of bed but the tall woman stood there, in a long t-shirt, flipping some eggs and bacon in a skillet. “Ah, bonjour, mon amour, I am making you a very… American breakfast? I looked up what you usually have. The store had many sausages, so I bought these different kinds. I also bought bacon, and some thick cut bacon, I… I did not know which ones you liked most.” Cosima had been too sleepy to notice the plate next to Delphine was full of sausages, bacon, differently-prepared eggs, and a small tower of pancakes. Cosima pulled up behind Delphine and buried her face in the taller woman’s back. “You’re sweet,” she murmured against Delphine’s back.

Breakfast was quiet. Cosima was starving and was actually able to eat most of the gargantuan breakfast. Delphine laughed as she watched the woman shovel bacon and pancakes into her mouth at astonishing speed. After breakfast, she sat Cosima down. Delphine explained, “While you were getting your biopsy, I went through with our plan. I got all of the files I could on you and your previous monitors. Everything. And…I have a few things to show you.”

They sat there for half an hour, then an hour, then more. They were going to be late to work, but Cosima poured over each paper, each memo, letter, email, document, stopping only to let out a raw cough. It was all there. She looked at the memo that Delphine had read earlier.

Ste stared at it. One minute passed, then five minutes, then ten. Delphine could see her brow working at some idea, giving it form and shape. “Well,” she finally said. “That explains a lot.”

Delphine came over and put her hand on Cosima’s shoulder “ Delphine, I think…I think my parents got divorced…because of me…”

Cosima’s head spun. Monitor N. Niehaus, her father. The second monitor, name redacted on each one… but they described taking care of her, feeding her, consoling her. Everything was there… even 1990, the year her parents divorced. They must have both been monitoring her. She tried to remember her mother in those days. She'd always been sweet to her, always kind. She’d never understood their split, not really. They seemed so happy together. Now she understood, it was because of her… her mom couldn’t stand having to take care of an experiment, she couldn-

“It’s not your fault,” Delphine’s voice rang through her like a bell.

Cosima looked over in surprise at Delphine’s apparent telepathy. “It is not! You cannot come to that conclusion! Think logically. What could you have done as a child to cause this? Nothing. If she left, it was her choice, not you. You did nothing. I see you thinking and what’s going through your head. You do not need this, so I will stop it now. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”

Cosima could not bear to look away from Delphine’s eyes. Something about the fierceness of her star kept here there. Tethered, anchored, Delphine took her hand, white knuckles holding against trembling fragility. Cosima let herself be taken up by Delphine. The warmth of the embrace breathed life back into her. The logic of Delphine’s words chimed in her head. Yeah, she’s right. I couldn’t have done anything, I was too little, I was just me, they were the ones monitoring, me…right?

She began to breathe again.

 **  
******

* * *

 

Work was a blur. They ran cultures on the biopsy and tried to extract cells to culture and use to test. Cosima glared at the cells through the microscope. “You guys better grow. You know, I didn’t put you into collagenase for hours just so you could die, you got that?” she muttered to the plate.

Delphine chuckled in the background. “Mon petit porc-épic, are you grumbling at your cells? If they are as stubborn as you are, they will not listen to you that way.”

She walked up behind and whispered into her ear. “It is much better if you are gentle,” she said as she ran her lips along Cosima’s ear.

“It makes you so much more...complaisant…”

She ran her fingers along Cosima’s collarbone while using her other hand to grab the plate from the microscope. “I’ll go put these back in the incubator.” Cosima nodded dumbly as she watched the tall blonde walk away.

The rest of the day was spent preparing experiments and looking for antibodies to use. While working, Delphine noticed Cosima coughing more than usual. Delphine was instantly worried. She sent out an email:

> To: A.Leekie, R.Duncan,
> 
> Cc: C.Niehaus
> 
> Subject: Biopsy Sample Analysis and Assay
> 
> Cosima and I have started on the biological and genetic analysis of her biopsy sample. It occurs to me that we need a sample of someone with healthy lungs. If possible, could Miss Duncan or Miss Hendrix be taken in for sample recovery.
> 
> Thank you,
> 
> Delphine Cormier
> 
> ****  
> 

Delphine heard a loud choking sound coming from behind her. She turned to see Cosima choking on her coffee while the email flashed open on her screen background. “Delphine did you really just ask Rachel for a sample?!”

“What?” Delphine replied, tensing her shoulders at Cosima’s defensive tone. “We need a sample and, well, she can give one easily. It won’t even hurt, they can put her under…or Alison! We know Sarah is…unavailable right now. So why not use one of the others?!”

Cosima could see her shoulders slump as she continued. “Maybe i should have asked you first?”

Cosima walks over and gives Delphine a long kiss. “After everything Sarah’s said about her, I’m just… surprised that you’d ask her.”

Delphine smiles into Cosima’s mouth, whispering, “Anything for you.”

They’re interrupted by the sound of an email pinging Delphine’s inbox. She glances at it and deletes it just as quickly. “Oh it seems i am getting a lot of junk to my inbox lately,” she says, turning back to Cosima.

Before Cosima has the chance to ask she seizes up and begins to cough. The coughs are rougher this time, as if something is broken. She trembles as the fit grow worse. Delphine holds her. She can vaguely hear chattering around her as people scramble around her. Cosima begins to feel dizzy. She’s not breathing. Cosima feels a mask being pressed to her face.

Oxygen, finally. Delphine is on the floor with her, holding her close as she trembles. Cosima is vaguely aware of the speckles of blood that surround her. “Shh, mon petit porc-épic you are safe now, it will be ok. I am here mon amour, je suis ici…”

Delphine plants kisses in her hair; she seems to be trembling as much as Cosima. Their labmates flutter around them nervously, scrambling to clean up. Collecting herself, Delphine picks Cosima up and removes her oxygen mask.

“You,” she says to one of the technicians as she straightens up, towering over him. “Go and fetch a small tank and another mask. We will be taking it with us. You, come here and moment,” she says, waving another over. “ Take this mask, swab it for samples, run cultures. If there is enough, try to see what you can get from the blood.”

Delphine has the terrified technicians call a car to take them home. Cosima is glad, for once, with Delphine’s familiarity with Dyad. She seems to know how to arrange everything so that they can leave quickly. Cosima can feel her fear growing in her stomach. It’s getting worse...she thinks. How quickly can this progress? She thought of Jennifer. She had assumed that the illness progressed so quickly because of what Dyad was doing to her. Maybe I was wrong…

Delphine helped her out of the car and into their apartment. Neither had said a word, as if talking about it made it too real. They walked up and Delphine put the kettle on for tea. “Would you like some?” Cosima smiled, looking at Delphine in the kitchen, preparing tea as if she were measuring for an assay “Sure,” she says, relaxing onto the couch with a smile. She breathes deeply, but something feels off. Her lungs strain against her ribcage. She looks at Delphine again, the woman who cares, who loves her. She wasn’t alone. If she was going to die, maybe this was the way to go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was a good place to stop it? I'll post another bit next week, glad you like my little short fic!! 
> 
> Fellf ree to comment, tell me your feelings and EMOTIONS and all that!! 
> 
> And to those of you that dont really like the ending, this is for you:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QA3m58DQw&


	4. He calls it Reason—thence his power's increased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mini update! sorry work has picked up so i have been scrambling to function and write things... sowwwwy 
> 
> Cosima thinks about what it means to eb sick, Delphine examines her loyalties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bluuuh i'm sorrrryyyy. I have not been updating as much as i would like, basically I have work and alond with work I have to move soon. I also wanted to watch this new season and see how i could work elements of it into my story.. so heyo~ 
> 
>  
> 
> anyway <3 for you guys, thats for like, bothering to read stuff. As always feel free to comment snd whatever!

 

* * *

 

"Forsooth! He serves you after strange devices:  
No earthly meat or drink the fool suffices:  
His spirit's ferment far aspireth;  
Half conscious of his frenzied, crazed unrest,  
The fairest stars from Heaven he requireth,  
From Earth the highest raptures and the best,  
And all the Near and Far that he desireth  
Fails to subdue the tumult of his breast."

-Faust  
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 

* * *

 

Delphine and Cosima sit sipping tea and not saying anything. Delphine is unsure how to even address what happened. She keeps shifting her gaze to the oxygen tank in the corner. Finally, Cosima breaks the silence with a sigh. “I know, I know, I need to take care of myself now… I have to make sure I don’t get so sick that I cannot work, and we need to work on me getting better. And yes, I’m scared. And no, I’m not sure what to do. And yes, I want you with me through this.” She fell back onto the couch with a sigh.

“And we will get through this,” Delphine says steadily, moving toward Cosima slowly. “Together we can be this.. science mega force! That can be us. And we will cure this...malady of yours,” she says, finally reaching for Cosima’s hand.

Cosima says nothing as Delphine holds her hand. “I am going to get the mail,” Delphine suddenly announces, disappearing to go downstairs to the mailboxes. Cosima sits and thinks. I don’t want to die. I want to see this all through, she thinks, her earlier complacency forgotten. If I die, then I can’t… I have a lot to do… and Delphine. I love her. But what was she hiding? We are in enemy territory, and she was so quick to delete that email, what if it was something about...but what if she… No, no, she helps me! She has been taking care of me, what am I even thinking… She can only close her eyes as thousands of questions run through her head.

Delphine soon returns with the mail, handing a large padded envelope to Cosima, along with a piece of paper and a small, unadorned box. “There is something here for you. It is from Felix. He got us new clone phones. I have to say, I like the color more. Green is definitely my color.”

Cosima activates the mobile phone, quickly typing up a text to Felix:

| Me: Got the clone phone, thnx.

|Fifi: shit goign down call u later.

Cosima stared at the phone for a moment before responding.

| Me: ??? ok

“Looks like the Clone club is having issues,” she says quietly. “He’s going to call later. I’m going to lie down…” Cosima staggers over to the bed and lets herself fall onto it. She closes her eyes and hopes for the day to be over.

Delphine busies herself cleaning. Cosima’s standards of cleaning are not necessarily the same so she found it easy to get lost in the small details. Everything that has happened, and now she is getting sicker. We need to get her treatment, we need to do so much but it takes time… How much time do we have? There’s so much we don’t know. We don’t even know what to treat her with until we know what’s doing this to her. She scrubs the stove furiously, releasing bits of grease stuck to the ceramic. Maybe when he arrives, he will help. And I may have to talk to Leekie soon, get him to help convince Rachel to help… The cold water on her hands pulls her out of her mind long enough to see Cosima stirring.

Delphine washes her hands and walks over to the bed. “You know, I can tell when you cannot sleep, mon petit chiot, you toss and turn. Maybe I can help you sleep better…” Her words trail off as she kisses up Cosima’s back. She begins to rub Cosima’s shoulders and neck. “Mmmm, thats nice,” Cosima sighs as she melts into her lover’s embrace.

The green phone rings, jolting both out of the mood.

 

* * *

 

| Login: DCormier

| Password: *****************

****  


Delphine logged on to her computer while Cosima busied herself with lab work. The lab still needed to order plenty of equipment and Cosima had to spend the morning calling vendors and arranging meetings and trials. Delphine looked over her deleted messages to find the one she was looking for:

****  


Delphine,

I will be arriving in two weeks to start my work. I am certain my skills can be of use in all of this. Dr. Leekie has sent me all of the pertinent information and files for what we will be working on and i have signed a confidentiality agreement. Honestly this is a lot to take in.

S.

Delphine sighed. She had hesitated to contact him, but she thought it would be best for Cosima. Delphine quickly typed up a response and erased it. Cosima couldn’t know about this yet. Her emotions were already all over the place; anything else might stress her out. Delphine leaned back into her chair, closing her eyes to let her thoughts settle.

Cosima had never been good at aiming, but Delphine was only three feet away. She couldn’t miss at that range. The plush sheep landed directly on Delphine’s calm face; the French woman shot up in response. “Qu- What what is this?” she grabbed the stuffed animal and her eyes quickly found the culprit, who smiled knowingly.

“Abcam apparently likes all the stuff we’ve been buying from them, they sent up a sheep as thanks. Zeiss liked us enough to send us a backpack too.”

Delphine snorted. “We spend over a hundred thousand on a confocal and we also get a backpack! What a deal!”

After her sarcastic quip, Delphine thought better of it and walked over to Cosima. Her frame leaned over the shorter woman, pushing her against the desk. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You seem to be getting us some very good deals on equipment, Dr. Niehaus. Perhaps you should be rewarded for all of the good work you are doing.” Delphine’s eyes focus on Cosima’s lips, making her invitation quite clear.

Cosima takes the bait too quickly to be smooth, her tongue snaking over her lips as she leans in for a kiss.

“Well then, this is interesting.”

Her voice sounds far more polished than Sarah’s, honed to an edge that cut through Delphine and Cosima. They separated as a sleek blonde version of Cosima walked over. No, that was wrong; this woman was nothing like Cosima. Where Cosima was confident, this woman was a pillar; Cosima was warm, while this woman sucked all warmth out of the air. She was all edges to Cosima’s curves. “You must be Rachel,” Cosima says with a sly smile. Her posture does not betray how fast her heart is racing. So this is her, Sarah’s archenemy, or whatever. The one who took Kira.

**Author's Note:**

> Woo hoped you like this short bit. I write it while at work, so its a bit shorter than other stuff, but ill try to update fairly regularly!!
> 
> Also please feel free to comment and like, tell me things.


End file.
